She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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