you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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