i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
