I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
