It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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