At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
