she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Operation Purity has been aborted
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
