New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
