As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
