Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
