What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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