me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
