Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
