I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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