I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Who died my cat blue again?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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