Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
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