Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
