How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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