They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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