I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
