My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
