I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
