4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
