just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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