I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
