sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
