two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
