Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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