Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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