How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize