I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
