i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
