I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize