A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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