do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
