office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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