I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
