As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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