I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He passed out mid-signature
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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