Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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