do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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