Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
