lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
