I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
