Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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