I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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