John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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