Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
