Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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