hotel room ftw
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
