My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
