if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
