I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
