Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
