Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
