"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
