awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
